Motivated for a Change

             I have always eaten anything that was in my sight or anything that I would crave, it just seemed like the right thing to do. Never thinking about what it could do to my body. I have a high metabolism who cares what I put in my mouth it will come out the other way sooner or later. Eating out every day became a bad habit that I adapted to very quickly. Looking in the mirror became a nightmare that I wanted to wake up from already. I wanted to grow a little taller but the only way that I seemed to be growing was to the sides. I needed to find a new hobby and a better way to stress relieve whether than eating junk food.

            My friend had suggested that I should join the gym. I thought that must be crazy talk I am no body builder.  I was finding million excuses to avoid joining this gym at any cost. I don’t have time, the money and what am I going to wear anyways. Who is going to go work out with me? What if I pull a muscle? Sweeting is so gross; I don’t want to smell mine or anybody else’s nasty and strong body odor. But when your jeans stop fitting and your muffin top starts to hang out so the world can see it you know that is a sigh that you need to change what you are doing. Take action and make the change that you need to do to see your body they way that you want to see it.

            Enough was enough and I needed to take charge. If I wanted to see the old thin me back, I had to get my act together and walk my butt to the gym and do something about it. If I wasn’t planning to do the walk then I shouldn’t be doing the talk. It couldn’t be as bad as I kept telling myself. I could do this, what did I have to lose but a couple extra pounds that I have been carrying around.

            I woke up more motivated than ever before, today had to be the day. I had these butterflies that flew through my whole body. What if this wasn’t the correct decision? My legs were so weak I could barely walk into my car. My body was shaking, driving in a straight line was harder than ever. I felt like a drunk driver, trying to drive their drunk butt to the gym.

            As I walked out of my car and towards the gym I got this big whiff of formaldehyde. I was oh no I can smell death already. I wanted to run back to my car, but I was already there now there was no way back I had to deal with it. At the same time you could smell the inspiration that was coming out of everyone that was there working out motivated for something better. The sweat that was dripping down from those buff guys mixed with the metal of the weights made me want to do the same thing. It was hard to miss the potent smell that seemed to travel though out the whole gym. The faces that people were make as they work out was a true entertainment.  I wanted to laugh but at the same time I was afraid that one of them would turn around and see me from all the way across the gym laughing at them and punch me in the face. I was so confused in what to do. This all was a weird moment for me. Why do this people look at themselves so much in the mirror? Are they that conceded I don’t want to become one like them one day?

            I sat on the first machine that I found that I thought I knew how to use it. As my butt cheeks touched the cold seat that’s when I realized I was really there, it was this really happing I was about to work out at the gym for the first time. I was paying the big bucks just to be there to look like the girls I see on the magazines. I sat there trying to read the instructions on the side of the machine for a very long time. I thought I looked super cool working out on my biceps. I would looked into the mirror and I was making faces like if I was about to go to the bathroom. That all ended quickly until a man walked over and tapped me on the shoulder and told me, “Excuse me, hhmm you are using that wrong. You have to do it like this.”

I giggled and replied, “Thank you, it’s my first day.”

That nice man that I thought was just trying to help me out. Had actually just made a fun of me was he walked away and whispering under his breathe, “Yea I can tell ha-ha”

I felt this heat rush from head to toes. My face was red as a tomato. I then questioned myself, if I should really be there. But I wasn’t going to let this little mistake ruin my workout.

I got up and walked over to another machine. But this time I sat there for a while and closed my eyes to see what I could hear. To my far left weights were hitting the floor very hard. The impact made it seem like they were over 50 pounds. In the middle left side you can hear this boy playing around just taking this as a joke, pretending to be boxing while someone is doing pull-ups. You can get the vibe that he must be a high school or just graduated by the happiness in his laugh. I don’t understand why but it made you wants to get up and play in the playground. Like elementary children in a hot summer day.

On the far right there was an older woman giving instructions. Silence and meditation, deep thinking was the vibe that came from that side of the room a yoga class must be in process. In the middle right side this loud and strange sounds were heard. You can hear all the cardio machines being used. You have the treadmills, elliptical and the indoor cycling going hard. You can get this big whiff of body odor. Man those people should really use deodorant. Laughter children having a good time as their parents get back into the shape they had before having them. The door from the day care must have been open. How I wished I was with them, they sounded like they were having the time of their lives.

I opened my eyes and snapped myself back into reality and continued my work out. I look up and there is a man giving me a dirty look. He must have thought this little girl is just here wasting my time I want to use that machine. I got up quickly and decided to do some cardio. Picking the right machine that I would actually like was hard. I stood there and observed the people that were on the different machines to see which ones were sweating the least. 

The elliptical was the lucky one. I got on it and felt so out of place. I had this old woman that is working out so hard that I thought he was going to have a heart attack. On the other side I had this fat man that couldn’t seem to maintain his balance on this machine without making it seem like he was about to fall off. And here I was this little young girl who thought she was fat and needed to lose weight. It took me a while to get the hang of this machine but I managed. I was on it for 5 minutes and I thought I was going to die. My water started to taste salty form all the sweat that was dripping into my mouth. I was running out of breathe so quickly. And all this time I thought I was still in great shape. The old women looked like she could go for another 20 minutes and I just keep looking at the timer thinking really it’s only been 1 minutes. My legs felt like they were going to fall apart. My lungs needed more oxygen. How could people love doing this, it’s like you are trying to kill yourself.  As I got off the elliptical I felt drunk, I couldn’t seem walk in a straight line. My vision was blurry, I felt like I wasn’t to throw up.

I walked to the locker room to take a little break in the girl’s room. All that water that I had drunk had started getting to me. As I was there I overheard some women in there talking about the backroom. There was a Jacuzzi, pool and some steam rooms. I had never seen or had been inside of a steam room. I had to check this out. And after the hard work out that I had, I deserved a good relaxing break. I couldn’t think of there being any better way to end a long day at work and an intense work out then having my pores sweat until they couldn’t sweat anymore.

I open the door to the back room and bam chorine took over the place. I could tell there was a pool there. There were all these kids in there playing around having a good time.  They were just trying to cool down from the hot weather that haunted us this summer. I wanted to jump in there with them. But my water phobia made it hard for me to be able to find the courage that I needed to be able to go swimming in there with them. Also, the fact that I didn’t have my bikini with me, I am sure no one wanted me in there with my sweaty clothes. There was some older couple in the Jacuzzi making out. I was a little grossed out by this. Especially the fact that there were little kids there playing in the pool right next to them.  That didn’t seem to stop them, the good thing was that one of the workers came out and told them to stop or leave.

At the far end of this back room there was a boxing bag and there were a couple guys that looked like they might be boxers practicing their boxing moves. The sounds that they would make as the punched the bag were pretty fun on this side of the room. There also were a couple more bikes out there. Someone told me that they had a cycle class early in the morning and swimming lessons which would be good for me since I can’t swim. Yes, that’s right I am 22 and I can’t swim I have never learned and I am not interested in learning either.

The great moment came I had been waiting for it since five minutes ago. I was finally there all I had to do was open the door and walk in. I touch the handle to open the door and I could feel the heat. If it was hot on the outside I could just imagine what it was going to feel like in the inside. Those butterflies went through my whole body once again. So I open the door and look inside and these really hot guys with a six packs and a nice bodies was in there shirtless. I thought in my head I must of died and I made it to heaven with these angels in here. I felt I little embarrassed since I couldn’t help it but stare at them. They were just all sweaty even though I hate sweat on this bad boys it was sexy. But I was there for a reason. The humid air in there made it had to breathe, even though all you could smell was the charcoal that was being burned inside and the hot wood. After being in there for ten minutes and sweating more than I did while I was working out I had to walk out. I didn’t want to leave those hotties but I couldn’t take it in there anymore.

It was time for me to head home. I had a bad feeling about joining the gym, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. As I walked out and I took a good last look at the front of the gym, I have to admit you have a little of every personality in there. You have you young boys that are trying to get ripped. Then there are the young ladies that are trying to get in shape and look good like they did back in the day. Then they have the older people that are trying to keep themselves moving and in shape for their age. You also see those that are overweight and are tired of society making fun of them and calling them fat unmotivated people. Then again you have people like me that have no fat but yet keep looking at themselves in the mirror and seeing the fat that isn’t even there. Very depressing but it is a true fact. Now I have committed to be at the gym for a year and work my butt off. To obtain that perfect body that I have always dreamed of just so I can look in the mirror and feel good about myself.