Robin for the Hood

Robin for Hood

First impressions are everything, and I have become so shallow that at times I no longer take the time to get to understand the reasons behind an individual’s actions. I have gotten so caught up in labeling people according to demographic, physical appearance, and personal choices that I have forgotten about the importance of getting to know people for who they really are. We are all creatures of habits, and although I have fallen into this routine I need to start thinking outside the box in order to better myself and those around me.

 My workdays have become a routine, and today is no different I drive to Sacramento, Florin to be exact. If you’re familiar with the area you know it’s the “Projects,” but today is different it is Sunday. The one day that all the pimps, hoes, and drug dealers take off to go shopping. Unfortunately, I still have the crack heads to worry about. I work loss prevention for a retail company, so I’m the guy following customers on camera making sure they do not shoplift anything.  There is not a single day I don’t apprehend someone for shoplifting at this store, and as I pull up to the building it appears to be a slow day in “The Hood” there are very few cars in the parking lot.

As I walk in the store the smell of McDonald's covers the air; that is until the stench of marijuana hits you like Chris Browns uppercut. You will be dazed for a few seconds, but then you’ll recognize the stench and realize why you feel a little drowsy and hungry at the same time. I usually just walk straight to my camera room because the combination of both gives me migraines. As I continue to walk throughout the store, I start to recognize the regulars. It is ridiculous how much time and money people spend in a store, I sometimes wonder if they have jobs or families. I continued walking to the back of the store to clock in, and start what I hope to be an easy Sunday.

I eventually make it to my camera room, and I start scanning the sales floor for anything out of the ordinary. Shortly after I observe middle aged woman with an odd build quickly select a hand full of costume jewelry and she shoves it down her skirt. I zoomed in and nothing falls to the floor, so much for my easy Sunday. Since I now absolutely nothing about this lady I tend to give them names and I decided to call her “Mary” because the store reeked of marijuana, and she seemed to have a merry personality, since she was sparking up conversations with other customers as she walked around. Mary was dressed fairly well, red blazer, black blouse, black skirt, nylons and heels. Judging from her appearance she seemed to be well off financially, so I did not see the need for her to steal twenty dollars worth of cheap jewelry. Mary continued to browse through clothing and every time she would select and item, she would layer it on top of what she was already wearing. After fifteen to twenty minutes this fairly slim lady had gained a significant amount of weight due to all the layers she had added on. It got to the point where Mary was walking like a penguin, I found it quite amusing and I figured she was going to have one hell of a story when I questioned her.

 As Marry began to walk towards the exit, I walked out my camera room and I began to make my way towards her. As she walked out, I approached her and very politely I said, “Excuse me ma’am in going to need you to come back into the store, so we can talk about the merchandise you’re wearing.” Then she turned around and I was like a deer caught in the headlights. Then in the deepest voice of the All-State insurance man she says, “Listen you fucking rent-a-cop, I am not going anywhere with you, and if you know what is good for you better walk away.” I was so baffled by her response I completely blanked out, I was not expecting Marry to be a man. Before I knew it, Mary the walking penguin was punching me in the chest. I couldn't help but laugh at him; since he had so many layers of clothing his punches had no power. At this time I did not know whether to restrain him, or simply let him walk out. I didn't want to be the guy that tacked the old lady, and then get blindsided by a customer thinking I’m assaulting a customer. So I restrained Mary by placing her on the ground, and after a few minutes of struggle I was finally able to handcuff her. What appeared to be sweet lady quickly turned into a pissed of ghetto diva.

As we walked back to the processing room Mary was kicking and screaming and making a scene, it got to the point where he purposely urinated on himself so I could let him go. By this time I was I was so upset that there was seriously nothing he could do to make me release him. I was eventually able to walk him back to my office to process him, and once I was able to get him to sit down and talk I had one of the funniest interrogations I have ever had.

Once I retrieved the merchandise from his persona, I asked him why he stole the merchandise. He replied, “Is it not obvious? I much rather wear woman’s clothing, I find it more comfortable.” He then began to explain to me how he has been shoplifting as a woman for years and this is the first time someone has actually apprehended him. He informed me that most of the time loss prevention agents are so flabbergasted that they let him walk out of the store with all of the unpaid merchandise. It really sounded like he simply found it amusing, and he was only stealing for the thrill of the reaction of people. I asked him what he was doing with all the stolen merchandise and he informed me that he was donating it at the local shelters. I extremely surprised by his response, and I did not believe him until he pulled out his phone and showed me pictures of all of the items he had donated to local shelters. It turned out that Mary had a really big heart, but a fairly small budget for his good deeds.

After our brief conversation I informed him that regardless of his good deeds he still had to be held responsible for his actions and that I still had to issue him a citation. He had no problem with the citation I gave him, and he informed me that his actual name was Sylvester a retired public defender for the city of Alameda. It just goes to show that appearances have nothing to do with the individual’s personal preferences, or career path.

We all make mistakes, and even though we may have good intentions we need to understand that there is a reason to everyone’s madness. Everyone has their sole reasons for what they do, and I’m sure Sylvester has done a lot of good things through his shoplifting career. Although, he is an attorney and his integrity will always be questioned he made my day by entertaining me, but most importantly he proved to me that there are still Robin Hoods, and I found one in a place I never would have thought of looking, the hood.