Playing the French Horn (Essay2)

Playing the French Horn

      Like speaking another language, not many people are able to comprehend music. It has many 

variants; different dialects that must be throughly understood before they’re executed. For a lucky few, 

this understanding comes naturally. Playing the French Horn is the epitome of excellence when it 

comes to musical cant, one which I can embrace with incredible enthusiasm. Unlike a clarinet or oboe, 

one is not strained for breathe or placed in an uncomfortable position when playing the Horn. The 

sounds emitted from it resound of the most resonating tones and send shivers down the aware listener’s 

spine. It is the ultimate. French Horn is bliss.

    

      A French horn is not French. It’s actually German, but the name was derived from the key the 

instrument is tuned in, which is F. It originated as a single complete loop with a mouth piece on one end 

of the horn and a bell – the part where the sound comes out – on the other. It was used as a hunting 

horn, most notable for it’s power and ability to summon the hunting spirit in the challengers and fear in 

the hearts of the game. When you mention the word horn, perhaps the trumpet comes to your mind. 

These two couldn’t be more unlike and yet so similar to each other. The Horn in F is potentially two, 

even three, sometimes four instruments stacked upon each other. The Horn in F is also a Horn in Bb or 

a Horn in Eb, as the trumpet is tuned in Bb. This similarity in tuning has little to do with the intonation 

of the two instruments, as they are keyed in different octaves. The language that encompasses music is 

beautiful, elusive, and quite difficult to grasp without a general sense of it’s direction. 

      The Horn is a musical instrument in the brass family. Instruments can be String, Percussion, 

Woodwind, and Brass-wind. Of the brasses, the Horn can manage nearly every range the other 

instruments in that category can. Surely, the Tuba can scrape the bottom of the register with it’s huffing 

resonance; but no listener cares to strain an ear to interpret these rumblings. The Horn cannot match the 

height of the piccolo trumpet, but where that itty bitty horn reaches in octaves the horn makes up for in 

sustenance and stability as it climbs through the staff bars.

      What makes the Horn so wonderful is it’s versatility and power, able to climb through octaves in 

both directions with rips and trills. It is the cello of the winds, able to longingly seduce  the reluctant ear 

into opening it’s heart to a solemn attempt at retribution. The horn is a tool of seduction; able to tear the 

clothes of the soul off of any who should have the blessing of overhearing a single pearl of sound. This 

is done by catching the sound voyeur off guard by the sacred majesty stored deep within the twists and 

turns and chambers of the horn. The rumbling that is summoned from therein is filtered through these 

caverns of brass and exit through the glorious pore that is the bell of the Horn. Even the deaf can pick 

up on the vibrations emitted from it, even the deaf can appreciate and respect the elegance that is the 

horn.

      

      You cannot say that there is a superior instrument without being a liar in my eyes and your own 

inner eye. No instrument comes close in depth and majesty; not even the mighty Tuba or flighty 

mandolin can counter any aspect of the superior Horn. Simply, any naysayer who ever-so-much-as 

declines to admit the Horn is the mightiest of all musical instruments is naysaying their naysay. Those 

who bow to the empirical dominance of the Horn are therefore rewarded by the reassurance that they 

follow the one true Horn.

      Simply holding the Horn is one of the most erotic and pleasurable of all things. With your  left 

hand, you slip your thumb into the ring closest to your mouth and gently set your three prominent 

fingers onto the flat, smooth keys. You hook your left pinky into the hook furthest from your mouth 

and prepare your right hand to settle cupped inside the bell. The trick is to not support the bell from the 

top of the opening, but from the sides, forming a thumbless “C” with your hand. When you gently kiss 

the mouthpiece of the horn, the tantalization coming from that intimate contact is almost too intense to 

bear. 

      

      Blowing the Horn is the most complex and infuriating of all tasks required with the obsessive 

idolization of the messiah. You must maintain a rigid muscle pose while flexing your inner lip to fit the 

tone of the note you intend to ask the horn to allow you to sound. The horn will offer a wide selection 

of notes that can be achieved with but a cringe of the nose, so caution is required when playing solid 

strands of melody. The skill that is required of this instrument is so immense that those who achieve 

mediocracy are seen as better than amateur to a musician of a lesser instrument. 

      The most beautiful of all sound bearing objects; the French Horn. It is the epitome of musical 

achievement and german engineering. The sounds of which you cannot deny is the most enjoyable you 

have ever heard. More pleasant than the laughter of children, more heart wrenching than the cry of a 

lover, the Horn allows it’s listener to experience the range of emotions a human should be allowed to 

achieve, if only in dreams.